I'm Sad

y am i feeling sad? i also dunno. sometimes i really dun like my own mouth. becos most of the bad stuff coming out of it will have higher chances of taking place. but gd things will nv be in this case. y lehz? y muz it be this way and not e other way round? haiz.. 1st time really hope it this way. haiz..

when did i become so emotional? i must be strong so i can help whoever is in need. :) i'm trying my best. but however, somethings really beyond my power of helping. i dun really wan to see this hting happen. hopefully it will be better. haiz... i think i dint really have a gd life, so i really hope those ppl whom i care will have a better life than me. till now i dint really say out what's the reason for me to be sad. i sad because i think i cant really help my friend. for what purpose or reason, it's not gd for me to mention here. haiz..

some ppl will ask, when did wq become such a kind person? lol. i also wonder. maybe i'm really bad to some ppl ba. sry abt it. haiz.. but maybe u guys out there who still dunno me well enough ba. :)

sometimes being strong and always standing, it's really not easy. sometimes i really will fall. but lucky i got Siong. i really muz thanx him for staying beside me whenever i need someone. but i noe he will have his own stuff to do and etc. sometimes i really did think, do i really need a gf? i think i still need ba. y lehz, i really dunno. sometimes i really feel ver tired. phy and mental. haiz..

i'm someone who is not gd at words, not gd at comforting, not gd at praising, not gd at expressing myself. maybe that's y till now still cant find someone who will like me ba. haiz.. am i really that bad? bad until really no gals willing to give me a chance. haiz.. why am i so emotional atm? because i'm a human, i'm a guy. i really need what a human and a guy needs.

i really hope those ppl who i really care will be happier every sec of their lives. sometimes think bak to the past, think of those unhappy stuff, i really feel v sad. perhaps i shldn't rehearse it. but mayb by thinking of the past, will make me wanting to make others happier. i did many wrong things in the past, i hope those friends of mine will nv experience that. becos the guilt that i had, is really pestering me.

why do i need a gf, maybe becos i really need someone to rely on. to lean against. i guess i need her moral support. but at the same time, i really wondering will i be able to give her the happiness that she deserve? will i make her to have a better life?

sometimes when people tok about Jesus Christ, he's so great. (btw, i'm a free thinker.) then when i heard about Buddha, i think he's great too. Jesus Christ is great, because he take away everyone's sin to put them into his own body. the feeling of having a sin is really bad, moreover he took away all the ppl's sin. haiz.. Buddha cut his flesh to feed the eagle, because the eagle is hungry. if nowadays human, when they see the eagle, will they do the same? i think they will shoot the eagle down in stead. haiz.. even sometimes to other human body that u don't know, u also wont sacrifice ur ownself to save them. cos human are really SELFISH!

sometimes i really thinking, if i have the chance, i really wish to die for everyone, i really not afraid to take all the sin or sacrifice my body for people. there will be ppl out there asking, u tok only la, as if u will lorz. u got so wei da ma? maybe u r right. when real situation comes, maybe different case. but i really did think of that.

To: My Gf to be.
i will really love u with all i can. i will try my best to be the best bf u have. i'm a human, i will not be perfect, i will try my best to make u the happiest person with all i can. thou sometimes i maybe in wrong, i hope u can understand, because i don't have any experience in this. but i will try my best. just for u. sometimes when i throw my temper or do anything that hurt u. pls forgive me. sometimes i really stress until i'm out of control. just tap my shoulder and i will noe that i have u as my support :) after i have think through the things i have done wrong, i will do the sweetest things to cheer u up.
From:Qi

Tern, next time when u really got a da sao and i really v insensitive, u muz really remind me of this. i noe the chances of me having a gf is ver slim, so i muz hold it tight, i dunwan to let it slip by just because of the stupid things i do to her.

Siong, u also muz remind me lehz. i told u before de. ok?

that's all i guess for the night. I hope that my friends will have a happier life than me. :) I really wish to cheer those friends who are not in gd mood or feeling sad. but i dunno how. what i can do is just to stand by ur side. Hopefully u will get better. :)